Lapsus linguae

Miss me, but let me go.

2011-07-20T00:28:00.002+08:00

Found this poem while trolling the web. Touching.

Miss Me – But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road

and the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too long,

and not with your head bowed low.

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

and each must go alone.

It’s all part of the Master Plan,

a step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,

go to the friends we know

and bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.

Miss me, but let me go.

The link to the poe m.

Whither Shall I Wander?

2011-05-26T10:46:00.000+08:00

By Robert Louis Stevenson

"Home No More Home to Me,..."

From Songs of Travel
(To the Tune of Wandering Willie)

Home no more home to me, whither must I wander?

Hunger my driver, I go where I must.

Cold blows the winter wind over hill and heather;

Thick drives the rain, and my roof is in the dust.

Loved of wise men was the shade of my roof-tree.

The true word of welcome was spoken in the door --

Dear days of old, with the faces in the firelight,

Kind folks of old, you come again no more.

Home was home then, my dear, full of kindly faces,

Home was home then, my dear, happy for the child.

Fire and the windows bright glittered on the moorland;

Song, tuneful song, built a palace in the wild.

Now, when day dawns on the brow of the moorland,

Lone stands the house, and the chimney-stone is cold.

Lone let it stand, now the friends are all departed,

The kind hearts, the true hearts, that loved the place of old.

Spring shall come, come again, calling up the moorfowl,

Spring shall bring the sun and rain, bring the bees and

flowers;

Red shall the heather bloom over hill and valley,

Soft flow the stream through the even-flowing hours;

Fair the day shine as it shone on my childhood --

Fair shine the day on the house with open door;

Birds come and cry there and twitter in the chimney --

But I go for ever and come again no more

Hahahaha...

2011-05-23T22:38:00.001+08:00

Nude Clock!

Stop and be thankful

2011-05-22T10:18:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since the last post and the pensive mood is still prevalent nonetheless. The past month at work has been crazy to say the least, my aging has greatly accelerated and my jadedness has reached new levels.

Time for a change in directions? Not yet, me thinks. I just need to be a little more efficient and increase my level of detachment (not like it's not high already..)

Got these pictures from an email, so I just thought I'd share.

R.I.P. Elizabeth Taylor

2011-03-23T23:17:00.002+08:00

I was so surprised to hear that a legend, Dame Elizabeth Taylor, has left us.

May she rest in peace. Thank you for the memories.

Where shall I go?

2010-11-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

I can't wait.

2010-10-11T00:08:00.001+08:00

Tak kenal maka tak cinta

2010-09-29T08:38:00.001+08:00

Fly fly...take me somewhere...wherever.

Death Cab, no Cuties

2010-09-21T23:01:00.000+08:00

I always enjoy my conversations with taxi drivers. From the land where kingdoms unite to my tanah tumpah darah, I’ve seen the gamut of topics.

The topics vary from personal anecdotes, politics (a pet topic with Malaysian taxis), food, economy, finance, and entertainment even.

For purposes of this post, I will confine it to my Malaysian experience. Prior to my becoming a pupil, fortunately or not, I’ve had little experience with taxis. (In hindsight, I think rather fortunately. I am beginning to despise the way they conduct their services.)

I take the taxis quite frequently these days. It gives me breathing space while I rush from X to Y and Z (these variables being the laugh-house in Duta, Dante’s Paradise and Mark Antony wannabes).

For people in the service industry, the taxi drivers are a very opinionated lot. And more often than not they’re very intelligent and sadly not much credit is being given to them for being ambassadors of the country. They are also a good gauge of how civilised a country is. They will surely find jobs being a politician or lawyer here if the stress of driving a car ever gets to them. While I find this to be refreshing and progressive for our society, it’s the bad lot of them that really gets to me. Of late, these taxi drivers are painting a very bad picture of our country.

What bad eggs do you mean? It’s the lot of them that refuses to take passengers to certain “unprofitable” areas, the ones that refuse to use the meter and the cursed ones that commit crimes. I am lucky I have not met the last category though I am beginning to feel that the first and second are merely subset of the third category.

Semantics aside, I do not understand why the passengers are being literally taken for a ride (pun and all) by their absolutely unreasonable and despotic, I might add, conduct. Sure, I get the logic of not wanting to take passengers to the less-profitable-than-usual places, but if every single taxi thinks the same way, why not just have the taxis function like an LRT ferrying passengers from say KLCC to KLSentral and go nowhere else. This is ridiculous. Cab-rank rule does not exist! (Not that it ever did) The Union/government should do something about this. The drivers tried explaining to me about how they have to pay their daily rents before they may count their profits. Big companies get the licence in bulk and then they “sub-let” their licences to the various individuals. I think there should be an NGO similar to the Bar Council or something of the same to properly address the grouses and problems these individuals are facing. The customers are the ones left taking the brunt of this joke of a system.

Lest I forget, I also totally hate the drivers who charge a flat rate quotation whenever you tell to take you to such and such a place. Reasons for this may be like the above, where the place is not so profitable, or that they’re just eager to pull a fast one on desperate passengers. Given a choice, no one would take them but I pity those who are desperate. Especially the foreigners, rich and poor tourists alike. Immigrants (legal or otherwise) too!

Let me not even go to the final category; taxi drivers who commit crimes like rape and robbery. I’ll have them flogged alive and then fed to the crocodiles.

I have had foreign friends who complain about the taxis here. Heck, I complain about them. They should start making taxi jokes soon. Now I just need to start packing a Glock before I hail any taxis here.

Here's looking at you

2010-09-19T14:06:00.001+08:00

If you stare at something, it works faster. Now how true is this proposition? I know it is not novel but it just suddenly crossed my mind. There definitely seems to be some connection, at least psychologically, that when we stare/look at something, it will be done faster.

Of course, I am not talking in the context of your boss staring you down while you complete his latest order or when your mom looks at you while you finish eating those vegetables.

Instead, I’m referring to inanimate objects such as looking at a download bar while a file downloads, a kettle boiling, a bus/taxi from yonder, the traffic lights...i think you get the general idea.

I highly suspect that you suffer from this as well, or rather have done this at some points of your life, if not your entire life. Logically, we may or may not realise that looking at it will not make it work/move faster. Yet, we still do it. Why so? Were we conditioned to do as such so that we may be ready for the eventual outcome? To illustrate, the act of staring at the red lights on a traffic light is in actual effect our body priming for the eventual green light. So that we may be ready to move.

I am not saying that it is true, but I am just thinking out loud. I have wondered at times but never really thought deeply about it enough.

Another reason that I have conceived (during my usual stare at the sky/etc contemplative moments) is that we do it because we do not want to think about other commitments/responsibilities. Example, staring at the kettle for it to boil so that we may cook our cup noodles. We do not want to think/look at anything else because our mind is so preoccupied with the thought of cooking the cup noodles, eating it. In a similar vein, it may also be alternatively construed to be focusing on something when in reality we should focus on something else. Such as waiting for your mp3 files to download finish, you could go on and finish a paragraph or two (or maybe more since we are slaves to Internet Monopoly in the Golden Chersones) but instead you feel more inclined to look at the download bar. Avoiding and procrastinating in a sense. Isn’t it?

Then there is the Law of Attraction. Thinking of the green light, making effort towards achieving that green light, visualising yourself moving forward at the blink of the said light, feet already on pedal, gears in D... Does it really make the green light come quicker? Aren’t the lights already pre-programmed to come on after a certain period of time?

Having said and done all, the fact that I’m writing this is probably a means of escaping the work that I am supposed to be doing. Oh well. I better get back to it. Just think about it. Will staring at my work make it finish it a lot faster?

These changing times..

2010-09-05T04:40:00.001+08:00

I read this on a website today. Hilarious!

In a small town in India, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop ' s demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

"I don't know how I ' m going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't.

Bills bills bills.... NOT!

2010-08-17T00:53:00.003+08:00

Today I did work that was non-billable. Wow....actual work that I couldn't and shouldn't bill. It felt so weird not to enter into my timesheet the work that I put in and the duration. I'm so used to listing my work done that it felt just unnatural that I'm not billing.

Truly, I'm loving my legal aid experience. Quite a load of fun. The environment is a lot more cosmopolitan than my usual work place and the people I get interact with are literally from various subcultures in South East Asia.

I'm still basking in the euphoria and the glow of a satisfying day. Actually, I fell asleep for 2 hours after dinner because I was too tired. Woke up, did some prep work and now I'll be sleeping again. A very tiring but awesome day.

This is what you pay lawyers for

2010-08-13T23:34:00.001+08:00

You just have to read this. Rock Paper Scissor as a deadlock breaker?

Read this

Stars and Stripes Forever?

2010-08-09T17:13:00.002+08:00

I think I need not explain how expensive things are these days. Let us not even go into inflation and taxes. (By the way, the GST and RPGT taxes are another topic which I would love to go into, in maybe the next post)

So yes. Everything is expensive. What's more if you would want to travel to some foreign country. A developed one, mind you and with a currency strength several times higher than your own. Simply put, bloody expensive.

Throw in the visa payment and you have a real slaughter. Your purse and bank account will never be the same again. Ok, I may exaggerate but it still does not detract from the fact that the high costs for visas are often unjustified and not explained to the potential travellers. On top of that, it's a gamble as to whether the visa will be granted at all. Now if this is not the lottery or Big Sweep, I don't know what is.

My current peeve is the US Visa. It has gone up higher and higher since it was introduced post 9/11. Yea, THE 9/11. It is a tragic moment in the history of mankind but it is not reason to justify the cutthroat visa ~~scams~~ schemes.

I faced the same problem when I had to deal with the headache (not to mention heartache) that was the UK Visa. Documents after documents have to be shown to justify our intention to visit. Sigh, immigration is such a big issue now.

This brings me to another bone of contention. People who flee their countries not out of persecution or poverty but out of a need to want to make MORE money. It is not as if they are totally mired in destitute in their own country but instead choose to do things like overstay at a country so that they may earn MORE money.

I'm a big advocate of liberty and justice and all that schmalz but frankly these overstayers just gets me riled up. Perhaps the fact that we innoncents have to pay the price for their blatant disregard for sovereignty is what gets me.

It's Monday. I have the blues. I have issues. At least I'm not ranting about work.

Part 2 of 2

2010-07-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

On the third week of July, I was off to Club Med in Cherating, Pahang. It was all expenses-paid company trip and despite my initial apprehension at the thought of travelling with my workmates, everything turned out fine.

My only complaint was that it only lasted for 3 days. Even as I type this, I’m suffering some form of post-holiday blues.

The place is beautiful enclave of tourism in the middle of nowhere. The sea is quite beautiful, at least by Peninsular Malaysia standards, though the sand is somewhat coarse. What makes the whole place Club Med is most importantly the people. The GOs (that’s the staff....GMs are the guests) are extremely friendly and were helpful all the way. Although some of my colleagues complaint of being marginalised and not treated properly, I personally did not encounter such a thing. That being said, I suppose discrimination happens everywhere.

Back to the people, not only the GOs were sporting and fun, the guests too were clapping to the same tune. Some of the guests stay on for ages from weeks to months even! Talk about affluenza alert. If anything, this trip has served to motivate me to work harder so that I may achieve this lifestyle soon. Very soon!

The drinks were free-flowing from the bar, from juices, to cocktails, mocktails, beers and basic neat liquors. All the meals were buffet with various counters such as Japanese, Korean, French, Western (in general), Italian, Indian/Local, Dessert and Drinks. I basically stuffed myself silly with everything that caught my eye. I was also drinking, though not as much as I would have liked because I wanted to try out the activities as well. I can’t go trampolining after 3 glasses of pina colada can’t I. Not unless I want to decorate the floors with partially-digested food and gastric juices. Not to mention wrecking my GM social life there.

The place is definitely a must visit for the family, if they can afford it. I think it’ll make a wonderful escapade. If things don’t work out for me in the field of letters and notices and applications, I would definitely love to apply to work there. In fact, I think I should go search for some vacancies now.

Bah! Get me out of here!

Part 1 of 2

2010-07-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

Warning: Since I have not been posting as much I would have liked, this will take a bit of space. This will be part 1 of 2 for my next post.

The past two weekends have been awesome to say the least. If anything, they’ve been a great respite from the working weekdays that have plagued my life since February this year. This is not to say that the work is terrible but more the fact that nobody likes the work that they do. Well, most anyway. I am actually very thankful that I’m working in an awesome place with great people and am learning a lot. There is proper work life ratio and the pay is somewhat commensurating, at least when compared with most of my peers.

Before this post dwells more on my working life (or non-life, rather) I would like to share my two recent weekend experiences which have been quite simply, fantastic!

On the second weekend of July, I went on this Skytrek circuit with my friends. (The name itself sounds amazing already isn’t it?) It is like a outdoor theme park with flying foxes and obstacles and lots of ladders and ropes. It is located in Shah Alam, some Bukit Cahaya. The park itself is pretty large and I think it is quite the place for picnics and weekend family outings.

Reaching there, we had to take a tram ride along a meandering road up the hill. Along the way, we can see many people (adults, kids...you name it) cycling along the road. I suppose the bikes were rented. After like 10 minutes (or perhaps it was a 7), we came to a stop and proceeded to a small hut to register. We had to fill in disclaimer forms and get our gears. This was also the last stop to snack up or fill up the tummies before the “adventure”.

The gears look pretty high tech and feels like it too. Personally, it makes me feel like I was a professional rock climber. My only complaint was that the gloves that they provided were really icky. They were practically still wet with sweat from previous users. Talk about Yuck!

Once we were geared up, we were taught the basic safety procedures especially when reaching a station. I think I should explain more. The circuit consists of many stations all located up trees. To move from one station to another, one has to go through some form of “obstacle” such as walking on cables, flying foxes and the like.

Moving on, my favourite obstacle was the flying fox and the “tarzan swinging”. They were absolutely fun. I think the first time is always the hardest...making the first move/jump. Kinda like real life and relationships too I suppose. But I digress. Once you overcome the first-timers fear, there’s no holding back.

My only concern was that they should have at least fenced up the stations. The stations were basically just wooden platforms without fences. Of course, we’re harnessed to the cables tied around the trunk but I can’t help feeling that putting up a fence would have been wise.

At certain stations, there is an exit of sorts where a person may “chicken” out by sliding down a netting all the way to the ground. This exit strategy is aptly named the “chicken coop”.

There’s 3 type of circuit to choose from, there’s the first (I can’t remember the name), Big Challenge (that’s the one I went) and the Extreme. Apparently, the Big Challenge is the one which is most fun because of the many flying foxes. Extreme is just tiring with a lot of ladders and whatnot. Of course, this is all hearsay from the people who’ve tried both but nonetheless, from my own personal experience, Big Challenge was a lot of fun.

Overall – highly recommended.

Excess baggage

2010-06-21T01:41:00.000+08:00

There is Hermes. Lana Marks. Vuitton. You would think these are poncey names that are the hallmarks of sophistication. Apparently. And then there’s the most important bag of all, the eye-bag. This is perhaps the one bag that no woman (would ever) wants and a bag that even a man would know about.

My bags are getting bigger and my panda-rings are more defined these days. Perhaps I am getting older. I usually have no problems with it, but it’s just that people are now supplementing ‘Hello’ with ‘you look terrible (or other similar adjectives)’. I suppose it doesn’t help that my pale skin only serve to highlight such natural gothic cosmetic on my face. This is in addition to the fact that my salt and pepper hair is becoming salt than pepper.

Oh the vagaries of life.

Random

2010-06-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

Confession. Confession. I think I need to start opening up more. There’s only so much I can hide and keep in. I don’t need this stress. Too many actors, too few scenes and limited time.

I’m sorry. I’ll keep my promise.

H1N1 free! (supposedly-lah)

2010-05-13T08:32:00.003+08:00

I just got vaccinated for H1N1. No, I did not get diagnosed for it. It was all paid for by the company.

One of the staff's kid contracted it and the entire family is now under quarantine. This meant that the firm had to take precautionary measures which is the vaccination. It costs RM65 (corporate price) or RM80 (individual).

I must say that I haven't been needle-jabbed in a while. Haha..not that I like it. My arm is a little heavy at the deltoids but apart from that, I'm good. Thank heavens.

I'm now vaccinated against H1N1 and 2 other flu viruses (the vaccine protects against 3 strains of viruses) for life (yea, apparently it lasts for life). From what the doctor told me, the vaccination is determined by WHO every year as to what strain of viruses that a person should be vaccinated against. This year it is the H1N1 and 2 others. It varies from year to year and the doc suggested that one may go about collecting vaccinations each year just to be "protected" against various strains.

I suppose I'm pretty old-fashioned in the sense that I do not like to take medicine/drugs unless I really really have to. If anything I do not want to be too reliant on them lest I may need stronger dosages when it really matters.

That said, if it's free...then why not? :D

Toka koka

2010-05-12T08:28:00.000+08:00

I've just attended my first disciplinary board hearing and it was really quite an experience. It wasn't wam-bam-bow-wow kinda experience, but it was eye-opening nonetheless.

The entire proceeding was so informal and very much like a normal mediation. Luckily for me, it was a good hearing because all the parties were courteous and there were proper exchange of questionings and submissions.

Sadly for me this experience cost me nearly my entire working day which only resulted in a further backlog of work when I got back to the office.

Bah!

Random musing

2010-05-10T08:47:00.000+08:00

Took the bus home from Bukit Jalil on Friday. Puduraya station is supposedly being renovated. That’s where all the south-bound buses will be stationed for the time being. It is a lot easier to get to Bukit Jalil from my new place than Puduraya but the ride there is so much longer.

Added to this is the fact that the travelling time on the highway and the overall journey-lah to put it short, can be quite tiring and draining in the emotional and physical sense. Yet, my eyes tell me, on that Friday, that many still brave the road/commuting to get to the station with their luggages for their bus rides to their brief sojourn home. Perhaps it is to refill the very same emotional and physical need that they are using their remaining energies to get back.
I love people watching and the scene that I witnessed was in a way quite inspiring and fulfilling. There were many Malaysians of different races, ages and stations in life all gathered for the same purpose; to get back home/holiday/somewhere. There were a lot of noise and a lot of colours. Despite having to wait for over an hour for my ride, I would say that the time flew by quite quickly. In between my reading of my articles and watching the people around me, I have found (briefly) a new sense of hope for the next few months (maybe even a year).

The electricity in the make-shift tent was momentarily cut for about 15 minutes but I could see that the people were not too bothered and everything went on like nothing happened. Is this the versatility and adaptability that pompous pricks, I mean politicians, like to brag about? I don’t know about them, and frankly, I don’t really care too much, but I do believe in the Malaysian people. Yes, the people.

I sit and watch as days go by

2010-05-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

Some days are a blur, some drag on for excruciating stretches. I’m just trying to fill each day with as much activity as possible and to learn as much as I can.

I’ve seen the glam (perhaps just a slight glimmer) but I’ve also seen (even more of it, I might add) the toil and crap.

Give me liberty or give me death!

I have moved!

2010-05-02T19:50:00.002+08:00

No no...not the blog, but my place of residence. It's from one hood to another. A ghetto to the next. Not that I'm saying where I'm staying is a ghetto...

From above a shophouse to an ok apartmentlah. Quite a comfortable living quarters but the size of the room is considerably smaller than my former. Nonetheless, the facilities and the ample space everywhere else more than makes up for it.

The only downside is that getting to work will not be as smooth as when I was in the field of bricks. Let's see how things work out for me..

I'm pretty satisfied at the moment, but of course there'll be teething problems. I'll try to post pictures in my next post.

So deja vu.....

2010-04-13T00:06:00.003+08:00

I can't believe that I have to sit for another exam...called Ethics! Words cannot even begin to describe how farcical this sounds. I've glanced through the materials and i am quite disappointed to say that they don't even justify being called "materials".

If anyone is serious about making this a serious subject, (or at least that's what I think they are are trying to do from the foreword), maybe get some proper "materials" in the book.

It feels like 2009 all over again. Please excuse me while I go regurgitate. "Answers" that is.

Where is my clockwork orange?

2010-03-28T14:16:00.002+08:00

It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. Same old, same old...deja vu. The same strain. Nothing new, nothing different...one gets bored. Those who thrive on difference and uniqueness will empathise with this.

However, some find routine comfortable and friendly. There is nothing more, nothing less than what one has gone through and will go through again, the next day, on a consistent basis. Anything that throws him off his schedule, he will come to hate and despise. It destroys the regularity of his itinerary.

Where do you fall? As I age, I find it surprising that i'm falling more and more into the latter category than the former. Which is weird, considering how much I abhor doing/seeing/eating/ the same thing/person/etc again and again and again. I've been stuck in a rut-of-sorts for the past 2 months now and I have begun to "appreciate" my newly-established routine. When some new kinks get thrown in, I get rather upset because it disturbs the harmony and balance of my already fragile ecosystem which I have just only perfected.

Nonetheless, I think there is still a part of me that seeks to break free from the chains of working-life. Perhaps this is because I am not getting enough creative outlets to channel my imploding creative (like hah!) energies. I suppose once I get more settled in, and have become more familiar (and perhaps gained more expertise) in my routine work, I will revert back to my former love for everything new and different.

Till then, I guess I'll have to be content with repetitions and clockwork life. Oh woe!

Till death do us part.

2010-03-15T10:32:00.000+08:00

The Ides of March!!

r.a.n.d.o.m.

2010-02-17T13:19:00.002+08:00

flea flee. seek sick. Breaky breaky. I need a break.

The Second Wave

2010-01-06T06:59:00.002+08:00

Of what? One might think it is H1N1 with all the public service announcements on TV and the newspapers. Indeed, there might be a second wave and the public must always be vigilant. Practice good hygiene. (though I doubt the many of the street hawkers do, sadly)

Anyway, what I wanted to make clear was the second wave of the economic crisis that hit the world at the end of 2007. Many have thought that the worst was over and we're rebounding but this cannot be further from the truth. Politicians, bankers and policy makers all weave a web of positivity to shroud the truth from the plebeian masses. They're either doing it out of ignorance (might be the case for our lovely state) or from a decided choice. The latter is usually justified on grounds of policy, such as to "stimulate" the economy. The usual argument would be that the people cannot handle nor understand the scope or truth if they are told, hence these folks who walk the corridors of power have decided to keep the truth to themselves and to continue to go on their lives. Will mass hysteria break out if the people know? Truth be told, I know many who are not even bothered by the fact. They do not even want to know the ramifications or the underlying causes. Who can blame these "powerful" people then from shielding the commoners from such "terrifying" knowledge?

An analogy can be found in the the rearing of chickens. A chicken must not be shocked else it will not lay eggs or the meat will taste different (apparently!). So the chicken must constantly be led to believe that it's living an idyllic life (until the inevitable day, of course).

Before this post start to sound like another doomsayer's warning, let it be known again that we must be prepared for further waves of the economic crisis. It is not over yet. You don't have to take it from me. Flip open your economics book and do some analysis of your own. Surf the net and read the commentaries. Never take what people say at face value. Digest and think for yourself. Spend wisely. Be prudent. There has never been a more important day to stock up on financial knowledge.

Another public service message brought to you by me. (sadly, no sponsors :( )

2 years short of the apocalypse

2010-01-02T19:51:00.002+08:00

Another year, more problems, more work, more stress, more uncertainties to come. At the same time, more opportunities, more surprises and even more love!

2009 has come and gone. I've learnt much in that time, and I'm a lot wiser for it. If I can encapsulate what 2010 will be in store for me in one word, it will be HOPE (corny and cheesy and lame and predictable as it may be). I'm just looking forward to 2010 to write a new chapter in my life.

I read these two passages online and I think I will end my post with them.

"Today, after getting in a huge argument with my wife over something silly, I was reminded of the fact that love is not a fairytale. It's hard work. But it's worth it."

"Today, my grandpa told me, "It's been my experience that most people aren't truly happy until they have had many reasons to be sad. I think this is because it takes all of those tough times and hardships to teach us how to truly appreciate what we have." "

Happy 2010! I need to get drunk.

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of Bacardi!

2009-12-25T22:01:00.000+08:00

Tis really the season of giving. You hear the jingling bells, deep-bellied hoho and all finery in forms of red, white and green.. Christmas! Oh what a season. Yuletide is usually a time for reflection for me with it being at the tail-end of the year. This year has been quite a contemplative one for me.

My narration takes me exactly one week before the eve of Christmas. I got pickpocket-ed in the train. Sad but true. It was a day like any other but the ride back home on the train proved to be quite a turning point for me. I suppose I am generally quite careful but the denial in me wishes to believe it was just ‘one of those days’. Nonetheless, I lost my wallet in that packed train that day. My awesome wallet that has seen so much “action” with me, travelled to places, and most importantly, a gift from my close mates. I don’t know which hurt more, the emotional attachment I had with it, or the big wad of cash (my rent was inside as well) or the hassle of going through all the paperwork again. I suppose it’s fair to say that I’m suffering from all three but in varying degrees.

I usually feel my pockets every now and then whenever I’m out. I suppose it is some type of OCD, but terminologies are the least of my concern here. Upon boarding at Masjid Jamek, it was tightly packed. Sadly, no Giseles or Natalies were in close proximity with me, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, after the passengers start pissing off, I mean disembark, the train, my hands instinctively went for my pockets. Alas, it was not to check for any biological reaction (not that I was going to have any in that train that day). Lo and behold, my wallet was gone. My eyes instantly went to the floor and I started asking the few people around me. In my heart, I knew it was gone. The journey back to Sentral was achingly painful.

Thankfully, my phone was spared. After making the necessary calls to my family I made my way to the nearest beat base. Made my report. Made some friends too. Apparently there was another guy who was in the same train as me who had lost his wallet. Turns out he was on his way to KLIA for his flight and in the spirit of Malaysia Boleh, he lost his mobile phone.
Went home, dinner, then back to the big-ass police station to get some sort of receipt. Needless to say, that was quite an experience. My emotions went through the entire rollercoaster of denial, anger, frustration and finally acceptance, though I must say it didn’t take me as long as I would have thought. I kept thinking of revenge but as I type this now, I feel nothing really. Of course, if the person was right in front of me now, who knows what my blubbers for fist would have done, but on the whole I think I’ll forgive him. Though I’ve lost much from this experience, I’ve also gained some. I’ll probably be careful to the point of paranoia from now on. I am also more familiar with the workings of the police system. I am also more savvy with my documentations now.

I have settled most of my important affairs and am now getting myself stuffed like a turkey minus the roasting at home. Has Christmas anything to do with my reflections? Perhaps, but at least I am ending the year with some battle stories (of a lesser kind unfortunately). Tis really the season of giving. Wallets and forgiveness, that is.

Merry Christmas everyone!

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers

2009-12-09T20:14:00.003+08:00

I found this passage online, and I had a good laugh. True too!

I am unable to explain alot of things on why lawyers are like this and like that... and why was my case decided in this manner...why the legal costs is so expensive with this lawyer...The only way you would be able to get a satisfactory answers for all the whys, the this and the thats is for you to do.... 1 year of foundation course / A-levels, 3 years of LLB degree where the lecturers are contantly nagging you to think like lawyers and try their level best to instil in you all sort of moral values...and then finally when you think you know something...the lecturers tell you that "there is no one right answer, your arguements are good and well substantiated...in fact as good as the person who sits next to you who has taken a totally different stand from you....but no one knows the truth", sit for an exam called the Bar exam which is like buying a lottery ticket and hoping you will be the lucky one... and once you have somehow pass the bar exams, you go and do your pupilage / chambering with a lawyer...wherein the Tea Lady in the office get more respect than you for the next 9 months... after completing this, you will go to court and hope that everything goes well on your Call to the Bar Day and that the A.G's chamber and the Bar Council representatives don't object to your Call...and when the judge accepts you and you become a lawyer and start practising law in a world where the client thinks he knows the law better than you....I bet you, you will be able to find out the truth.

Any lawyers/law students out there care to comment? :)

Bookcraft

2009-12-02T23:08:00.002+08:00

A good book has no ending - R D Cumming

Hence, I'm still lost in my maze of bookcraft and will probably not find the exit anytime soon.

Ghost of Christmas Past

2009-11-09T20:22:00.002+08:00

Anyone who's had any decent conversation with me these days will be dragged into my current pet topic which is 'I am getting older'. It will usually begin innocently enough with the general remarks that eating is not what it used to be or the state of one's physical self or that my hair is on its way to being like that of Richard Gere's or Rayden.

I used to eat really huge portions. Now, i'm eating only a small fraction of what I used to. Not because I'm on a diet ( well, an imaginary one lah ). I get full so much faster now. 1 packet of maggi mee is enough to fill me, oddly enough. However, I do get the occasional bursts of appetite that is reminiscent of my more youthful days. Ah, when it happens, it's like reliving the good 'ol times. Unfortunately, my body has a mind of its own. It is growing in inverse proportion to my intake of food. Sad but true.

Sometimes, I wake up with a slight ache in my lower back. This is definitely a new symptom and not one that I like. Unless I get a masseuse spouse, this is just going to get worse.

Little kids call you 'uncle' or 'auntie' now, instead of elder brother or sister. Maybe it's because I look very old.

Your hobbies have also changed and evolved. I've stopped gaming a long time now. No more MMORPG, RPG, online turn-based strategies, shooters and even the stupid mini games. Sigh. All those knowledge and l33t sk1llz going to waste. Sometimes i crave for the rush of p4wnz00rrzz! and h4xxorzz!!!

Last but not least, I need to start improving my sword skills. I am so rubbish with it. If I'm to maintain my image as the latest reincarnation of Sephiroth, I have to start practising swords and growing my hair. And they say I have to get a job. Bah, humbug!

puzzles of my life

2009-10-26T06:05:00.001+08:00

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z Z

2009-10-21T10:40:00.000+08:00

Slap me three times and send me back to me momma....arr!

Ivan Ooze

2009-10-19T10:33:00.000+08:00

What's the story...

Torn between two lovers

2009-10-16T19:10:00.001+08:00

It’s been a while since I last had durian but I had my cravings appeased today. Good stuff. So good you’ll get sick eating too much of it. Some get sick just by the smell. A truly omnipotent fruit. :D I do miss the berries and preserves of good ol English land but we gotta make do with what we have, eh?

The dingy but lively streets of Bfields is going to be home for next week or so till I finish my paper. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. I miss home. And that’s where my heart is...which incidentally may be more than one place.

Bob the Builder

2009-10-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

This was it. I had finally decided to do it. I could see the cars flashing past and pedestrians walking from the large window in front of me. I felt so disconnected from the world. Such is life, that it goes on whether you like it or not. I tried to concentrate on the non-fiction I had in my hands but the words seemed a little strange that day. My usual pace was off and there were instances when I had to reread an earlier sentence. Kindy school style. Word for word. Sentence by sentence.

The sofa was eerily vacant that day save for my knapsack and self. The plants were artificially cheery and the only soundtracks were the rhythmic interlude of the clock chimes and the mechanical hum of a drill. I knew what it was because it was a familiar sound. One could have mistaken it for the sound of a blender churning out some sweet nectar or perhaps someone scorching the tracks in NFS 3. But not me. I knew better.

I tried finishing the chapter but I was too fidgety. Despite my erratic attention on the paperback, I jumped when she finally called my name. If only she was Gisele or Natalie summoning me to her bedroom. Fantasies aside, I got up meekly and followed her. Like a pig going to slaughter.

The room felt so cold and surreal. She sat me down and I had a bib tucked over my chest. The syrupy ballads of yesteryear tried to drown my doubts but failed miserably. I would normally enjoy Lite n Easy anytime, but not today.

The room felt cold and surreal. I always cover up, especially on my dates with her. Not because I’m self-conscious about my body. Rather, it was no matter what the temperature reads out in Celsius, it was always colder despite the reading in a pit like this.

When Dr Rachel finally made her way in, I felt I was stuck in a scene from Hostel. Not the make out scene on the bed, but the blood and gore in the dilapidated warehouse turn torture chambers. Her cheery greetings did nothing to soothe my already terribly frayed nerves. I never liked dentists. In a dental clinic, of course. Then there was X but that would be another story.
She jabbed my twice with painkillers. I could feel my mouth and cheek on the left side slowly going numb. She left the room and I tried reading my book again but the numbness and fear were paramount on my mind.

When she returned, I could sense that she was relishing the thought of carving out my mouth. No, it must be my imagination, I thought. Then she asked me to open my mouth wider. I could feel the drill sculpting , no wrecking, my still-perfect and cavity-free wisdom tooth. When I could open my mouth no more bigger, she had a calliper to stretch my mouth.

Just when I thought the drill had stopped and she could finally pick out the tooth, the ordeal began again. This went on for a while. For about 15 minutes, rather. Or was it 20? Then she tried to prise the tooth out. I could feel the thrusting sensation with the base of my gum as the fulcrum and after a few attempts a lifting out the tooth, I felt the drill again. I could literally feel the pressure as she tried to keep push out the tooth. Perhaps she didn’t have enough strength. But then again, I don’t want Schwarzenegger to handle anything near me, or in me, either.

All the while the assisting nurse moved the tube about my mouth to suck out the saliva. It was plain bad luck that the machine had to fail in the middle of the operation. I could feel and taste blood in my mouth. And my saliva was just accumulating more than ever. When the new machine was brought in, it gave me a temporary relief but I felt the nurse could have done a better job. I felt that she was just going through the motions without really doing what a proper nurse would have done.

After the tooth was finally removed, I thought that was the end of it all. No! Dr Rachel had to stitch the wound. Funnily enough, I felt no pain at all. I guess that was because she gave me another jab of painkillers. I could feel a strange void at the end of my mouth. And it was real bloody. She showed me my mutilated tooth and I felt sorry for it. Such a perfect tooth had to be “killed” just because it was different. It was coming out horizontally. Since when do we persecute a person just because he was a little abnormal?

After the shock that was the operation, the reception area nearly induced another heart attack when I had to pay RM 350 for the ~~torture~~ operation. My earlier wisdom tooth only cost me RM 30. I guess the kinkier the ~~torture~~ operation, the higher the cost. Basic economics.
I lost my love for food for 2 weeks. Everything tasted different. Even now, and after removing the stitches, anything cold still gives the area of my mouth pain. If I exert too much physical pressure such jumping rope, it hurts as well. But hey, the ordeal is finally over isn’t it?

I dread the 2 more wisdom teeth that I’m supposed to remove. But that will be another story for another day.

Dr House

2009-09-27T01:18:00.001+08:00

Some call it the house effect. Some say it’s the vacation effect. However, they’re both different syndromes and how so, I shall expound shortly.

Have you ever felt like not leaving the house once you’re safely ensconced within? You may feel that there is no need to step out and everything you need is right here at home. The social calendar is suddenly limited to the couch, kitchen and bedroom and any other living sentient beings at home (for some, plants even). Any urges to leave the house is suddenly mollified and so what if there’s a sale at the swanky mall in town... If your life sounds similar to this, then yes, you have the what I would like to term, ‘house effect’ (nothing to do with the awesome series btw, of which the latest season is already out).

The ‘vacation effect’ is only limited to its self-explanatory name. Hence, if it’s a normal workday, and you don’t have the urge to leave home, you have the ‘house effect’ and not the ‘vacation effect’. The vacation effect may not necessarily confine you within the four walls of your house and in fact may encourage you to expand your social network suddenly to random strangers and the like. All in the name of holiday...basically, doing anything but work.
So, there you have it, another ~~quack~~ diagnosis which should not be used as a substitute for your medical doctor’s opinion. I shall not be responsible if your boss/teacher tosses out your excuse for being absent with any of the syndromes mentioned above.

Maybe I should do a medical degree...

British Open 2009

2009-09-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

There are two ways of looking at a defeat.

One. I've lost ... oh boo hoo. The world is unfair. The umpire/judge/other external circumstances all conspired against me. How can one expect to face so many nameless/unseen challenges. I am just one person against countless foes. Everyone wants a piece of me. Oh, the pressure...the expectations...they're too much. I don't need more of these.

Then the depression sinks in. Should I quit? Is this road worth taking? Two options then open up. Death by suicide or perpetuate the downward spiral towards non-existential living.

Two. I've given my best. It does not matter that I've lost. It's better to have loved or fought, rather than to not have done so at all. Say what you will, but I emerged stronger from the pits of the vanquished.

Then the two options. Bring on the next battle!! or It wasn't exactly a defeat, but rather a sad turn of events that may not seem so positive on the outside but what matters is on the inside (semantics theatrics ghoulash bubblewrap crap trap or denial rather)

Of course, these two perspectives are very simplistic and in no way represent the general population of Earth. The two generalized views may be true for some but I think the Aristotelian Golden Mean should make an appearance here.

There must first be an acceptance of the first and then the closure of the second. No matter how naive and bigoted the view of the first, there are some elements of truth. The key is not to dwell further here but instead moving on to the second. That should hopefully motivate you to move on. The subtle difference is to not let the closure be a denial but a lesson learnt. Acknowledge the past and hope for the future but work on the present.

Wow...all this because my Nicol lost in the British Open 2009? I think Sara was right...i am becoming an old softie. Nicol, you're still my champion and i'm sure in many others' hearts.

Or maybe because the dreaded results will be out soon? I think i'm ready, come what may. :(

Addendum : Man..this sounds like a self-help post.

Oh my huckleberry friend

2009-09-05T19:14:00.000+08:00

I finally watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Ah...truly, Audrey Hepburn is elegantly beautiful. The opening scene was the most powerful in the entire movie as it follows Holly on her morning “stroll” along the sidewalks on famed Fifth Avenue, NY beginning her journey of course at Tiffany’s whilst eating her breakfast. All while the credits in bold gold fonts played across the screen with the haunting Moon River playing in the background. Touchingly poignant, indeed.

Makes me want to take out my old Moon River score to play just for memories’ sake. Question for today... what is your Moon River?

A year on...

2009-08-31T21:44:00.001+08:00

As the gentle refrains of Amy Macdonald singing to the tune of her guitar lazily played in the background, I am consciously reminded that it has been exactly a year since I left the land of the Union Jack. Oh the irony of it all! My departure date had nothing to do with my patriotic beliefs nor ingrained homing beacon, but more about personal events instead. Given a choice, I’d have stayed on and believe me when I say that I can wax lyrical for hours on end on the virtues of the many aspects from the home of fish and chips.

For all my admiration and praises of greener pastures faraway, I’ll always still have Malaysia as my homeland. However, I still harbour the hope of living in as many different places as I can before I die. At least while I’m still mobile. If anything, the wanderlust and many encounters with people from various backgrounds only served to work harder to inspire me to make it work.

I don’t think I will say anything further lest I open a wellspring of emotions that will only make me ramble meaninglessly on. On a similar theme, it’s quite funny how people keep anniversaries of both good and bad circumstances as if to remind themselves of that one moment in time...in the end, it’s the memories that remain and the friendships you keep that is the only reminder of that time long gone.

Here’s to more adventures! In the words of Buzz Lightyear, ‘To infinity and beyond!’

Not another movie list!

2009-08-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

In between reading fiction and gorging on typically unhealthy Malaysian fare, I’ve managed to see quite a lot of movies. Courtesy of my sister’s stash, of course. Gone are days when I can get them off college friends and housemates. I still have the internet, but sadly not the patience to go through searching the files and then waiting another day or two for it to be completely downloaded. That’s a rant for another day…

Going back to the movies, there are few that I would recommend if anyone should feel like catching a good flick or two. A note though, is that these movies are not blockbusters and they are also not easily available here, so it’s best to perhaps get it online or perhaps from me.

Le Papillon – touchingly heartwarming and leaves you with a serious fuzz in the tums. It’s about a little girl (she’s so adorable!) and her relationship with a gruff neighbour who is an old man who collects butterflies. They go on a journey to catch an elusive butterfly and in the process taught each other the deeper meanings of life.

It’s all in French so unless you can understand it, subtitles would be highly recommended.

History Boys – This is a great story that revolves around a bunch of pre-University boy students trying to get admissions into Oxbridge. What struck me most is how it also reminds me of the Malaysian education system and its emphasis on exams. With a brilliant cast and smooth writing, this is a modern day Mr. Holland’s Opus.

Love and Other Disasters – a light movie that delightfully weaves through the themes of love and sexuality. It is very tastefully written and premiered in the UK last year in the London Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. It was actually produced much earlier but has remained relatively low-key. The philosophy of “true love” is also discussed in this movie albeit not as deep as I would have liked. This is also another pet topic that I like…

A memorable scene in the movie is where a gay protagonist is given advice on relationships by a shrink using the analogy of farting. Very creative!

Having listed this three, there are a few more gems that I would like to share but they will come in another post. I have avoided discussing the movies in length lest I destroy the joy of watching them for you. However, a caveat – these are light movies and personally I find them to be very interesting.

Amanah Saham 1Malaysia

2009-08-03T17:37:00.003+08:00

For all you investment-savvy people or anyone who cares a little about wealth management/creation, please rise early on the 5th of August 2009 and queue up at any ASNB offices or agents namely Maybank Berhad, CIMB Bank Berhad, RHB Bank Berhad, and Pos Malaysia Berhad to purchase the Amanah Saham 1Malaysia. For first timers, bring along your IC (get it photostated as well), Borang ASNB P1 and the cash/cheque/etc. For recurring users, bring ANSB 21Form, Investment Book and the cash/cheque/etc. I am not sure if existing ANSB subscribers will need to start a new book but logic would dictate that they're merely topping up and therefore need not start any new account. However, no matter which group you are in, it is advisable to obtain the forms at the said locations before the 5th and get them filled up so that it will greatly expedite your agony on the 5th. :D

The estimated yields, according to Bernama which quoted Permodalan Nasional Berhad (PNB) CEO Tan Sri Hamad Kama Piah Che Othman, would be between 3.7% to 4.0%. This is a marked lesser than other ASNB funds which goes up as high as 6.3%. However, it is still better than the rates offered by fixed deposits at all the major banks in Malaysia.

The queues will be long and the wait unbearable, so go there early. As usual there will be a quota of 50% allocation for the Bumiputeras, 30% for Chinese, 15% for the Indians, and 5% for "lain-lain". One would think with a fund name like 1 Malaysia, such quotas would be contradictory..oh well. When it started, ANSB however did not have any quotas imposed. It was only subsequently added which I guess is to prevent certain groups from hogging the entire share. Viewed in this perspective, it is commendable as everyone deserves a share. The quest to be financially-sound is more important than ever and everyone should strive to understand and learn more.

However, there are also speculations that this AS 1Malaysia is merely another attempt to restore the coffers of the ruling elites as they have depleted them in the by-elections just gone by and also to prepare for the next general election. I think there are some grains of truth in this, but nonetheless, it is an investment opportunity for every Malaysian to buy the unit trusts to consolidate or add to their networth. Notwithstanding any political motivations or intentions in starting this AS 1Malaysia, I hope more will make use of this opportunity to invest, especially the first-timers and the rural folks.

Selamat Jalan S.R.T.! :)

2009-07-29T23:48:00.003+08:00

A friend left for home in Indonesia yesterday. I think I've lamented many times that I do not like goodbyes and farewells. The worn and weary expressions with similar themes also fail to cheer me up no matter how eloquently phrased.

Will I ever get used to goodbyes? Having lived for quite a bit now, one would think that I would be able to take it. But it still wrenches my gut whenever I say goodbye to someone I care/love/like. Don't get me wrong...i won't be suicidal or start bungee jumping from buildings minus the rope...I am pretty comfortable with goodbyes, it's just that I still get the raw emotional crunches when I think of how our paths will ever cross again in the future.

An analogy would be that of love. If someone who has loved and hurt would be tougher or less sensitive and rightly so too because we learn from our experience and we "grow" from it. While some may become more indifferent to subsequent affections in new relationships, some still get that nervous tingle when plunging into a new relationship. Some while seemingly indifferent and cautious on the exterior, is an explosion of nerves on the inside. Questions of 'Should I?', 'Can I..?' all start the warning bells ringing. Will this relationship last and all that jazz.

So yes, I still get a little sad (sometimes more depending on the degree of separation and the mode) whenever I have to say goodbye but it has not stopped me from moving on. The sadness that comes from the departure and the intermittent nostalgia will be the only reminders of happier times. I think it'll be the same answer if you should ask me again in a decade. Yes, I never liked goodbyes.

Caveat : The 'goodbye' in this post is meant to be said to people that I do not want to say it to such as close friends, family.. Of course if the situation is about anyone else, Goodbye would be a pleasure on my lips. :D

Jubilations!

2009-07-23T12:39:00.001+08:00

It's over. Finally.

Now I have to clear that list of awesome things to do.

By the way, I hate Bing. It's absolutely rubbish. From the layout to the coding. Google is my benchmark.

Come Let's Play

2009-07-16T10:51:00.004+08:00

It's again a period of time when every single minute counts...where baths/showers are savoured to the very end and meal times become a welcome intrusion.

To beat the system or to join it? Is joining the Devil better than jumping off into the deep blue sea?

Times change, people change but some things never. An archaic qualification system that needs a serious overhaul in every single way.

Do we really know what we want?

2009-07-07T22:04:00.002+08:00

This is taken from Death in the Clouds by Agatha Christie. It gave me a lot to think about and perhaps it may do the same to you.

"There are not so many round pegs in square holes one might think. Most people, in spite of what they tell you choose the occupation that they secretly desire. You will hear a man say who works in an office, 'I should like to explore, to rough it in far countries.' But you will find that he likes reading the fiction that deals with that subject, but that he himself prefers the safety and moderate comfort of an office stool."

"According to you," said Jane, "my desire for foreign travel isn't genuine. Messing about with women's heads is my true vocation. Well, that isn't true."

Poirot smiled at her.

"You are young still. Naturally, one tries this, that and the other, but what one eventually settles down into is the life one prefers."

So do we really know what we want?

Moonwalk Tragedy and Angel Mourn

2009-06-26T11:25:00.002+08:00

Dear all, we have another Angel up in heaven. May you rest in peace, Farah.

Michael, may you rest in peace too. I will still bop to your tunes and hopefully you won't mind my cathartic dance moves. :X

Our icons...gone.

Washing without water?

2009-06-25T12:43:00.002+08:00

Well, not exactly without, but minimal rather. Absolutely fantastic. How is this done, you ask? With nylon beads.

What?!

They are tiny spherical beads that attract dirt as they tumble around the clothes in a washing machine. Apparently nylon has the ability to attract and retain dirts and stains.

Are the beads then thrown away after use?

It is said that the beads can be reused "hundreds of times" before being recycled. Is that green or what..

Well, I'm sold. If it ever hits the general market, I'll get one for my new crib, wherever that may be. (Though i'm hoping it somewhere...)

Read the full article here.

Mir-Hossein Mousavi vs Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

2009-06-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

It makes for an interesting read and analysis, this current, situation located so faraway. One can draw parallels with Myanmar, Thailand and Malaysia even, if the just-concluded election in Iran is scoped with the lens of an outsider.

Mousavi is “seemingly” a favourite of the urban youth with his calls for moderation and a reform of the economy. Ahmadinejad, on the other hand, is popular as ever with the conservatives and the rural folks. If clashes are an indicator of popularity, then it is clear that Mousavi is the winner but one can hardly use such an unreliable marker. Abhisit vs Thaksin, anyone?

At first glance, one might think that Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is backing Ahmadinejad but the working relationship between Mousavi and the former goes way back to the 80s before Mousavi dropped off the public political radar in the 90s. Is Mousavi a double-bluff trumpcard of Khamenei then? By appearing to back Ahmadinejad, is he indirectly causing Ahmad’s downfall in one clean swoop to rid the thorn in Khamenei’s grand scheme for an Islamic republic? Khamenei and Ahmadinejad shared a very comfortable relationship in during the latter’s elections in 2005 and subsequent office as the former constantly silences critics of Ahmadinejad.

However, Ahmad seemed to have fallen out of favour with the Supreme Leader after the economy of the country took a downturn following the falling crude oil prices. Ahmad’s economic policies hinged heavily on the oil and he did not seem to have made any fallback plan should the price of oil take a drop. His populist stand which made him rose to power in 2005 has put him in great stead since by openly defying the West and his push for nuclear power. This singular trait has arguably garnered him substantial votes in the 2009 election. With such a Crusades setting, many supported the way he stood against other Western powers.

The silence by the Supreme Leader during a campaign rally by Ahmad before the 2009 elections wherein he labeled Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, a former President, of corruption, have drawn critics on both sides of the fence. Pro-Ahmad camp may take it as an endorsement of Ahmad’s premiership. On the other side of the coin, this silence is treated as a rebuff for Ahmad unlike the times of the 2005 election. Rafsanjani has already issued a warning to Khamenei to censure Ahmad for his allegations. There has also been allegations that Rafsanjani is eyeing the seat of Khamenei but again, these are mere allegations. Khamenei has also publicly rebuked Ahmad for removing the top official of a body that organizes the annual pilgrimage to Mecca in May 09. If one were to hazard a guess, Khamenei is taking the politically safe option of keeping quiet.

Another view is that Mousavi is a puppet for the Western hegemony which seeks to infiltrate the high office of Iran’s administration. Similar themes weave their way in many conspiracy theories but like most, they lack concrete evidence. However, perhaps one should not dismiss so quickly any allegations. Aristotle once said that ‘It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it’. In his manifesto, Mousavi seems to have shifted towards a more inclusive approach which have included to working together with the US under the Obama administration. Ahmad would never have so wantonly court the West openly. In his earlier years, Mousavi was quite the hardliner and radical. He even went as far as to support the taking of American hostages for his revolutionary campaign back in 1981. He has also been reported to support terrorist activities in Lebanon and openly opposed any attempt to accept Western help to rebuild the state when he was the Prime Minister. Is this an awakening about-turn or is it a chameleonic attempt to move into office? Think Datuk Seri Anwar.

Wherever his loyalty or preference lie, Khamenei as head of the Council of Guardians, the powerful group of clerics that is supposed to watch over the polls, needs to take decisive action, and soon before any decision made by him loses credibility. With Ahmad busy abroad, Khamenei seems overwhelmed in trying to diffuse the political situation following the polls. Perhaps he can consider using the questionable Revolutionary Guards cum Moral Police to help…

Don't we all just love politics?

Zen Moment 2

2009-06-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

Freedom is a state of mind.

Gratulujem!

2009-06-12T23:42:00.001+08:00

Všetko najlepšie k narodeninám Z.

Veľa šťastia, lásky, a zdravie ti prajem!!

The Return of the King

2009-06-06T11:55:00.000+08:00

So I’m back on my throne. Happy YDPA’s day. It’s always been an honour to have a public holiday. And feel-good messages splashed across the mainstream media. And a speech given by the Big Man. Feels good to be back, but the travel itch is killing me. Home is home, but what if your heart is so temperamental as to where home is?

I need to sleep more. My head throbs every now and then, not in the migraine/headache kinda way but like the feel one gets as though they’re going to throw up. I think it’s the heat and lack of good food. And perhaps too many binges. This week has been a total washout in terms of academic input.

Or am I just getting old? =)

Zen Moment 1

2009-06-03T11:43:00.000+08:00

The key to happiness is to find that flower among the thorns.

Dedicated to all the corrupted people in power

2009-05-31T14:44:00.000+08:00

Agatha Christie has an apt poem for you.

There was a crooked man and he went a crooked mile

He found a crooked sixpence beside a crooked stile

He had a crooked cat which caught a crooked mouse

And they all lived together in a little crooked house.

What goes around...

The Tale of Lizzie Borden

2009-05-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

There's a grisly tale behind the name. Google it. Very interesting read.

Lizzie Borden with an axe

Gave her father fifty whacks

When she saw what she had done

She gave her mother fifty-one

Unbelievable? Believe it.

2009-05-19T01:28:00.000+08:00

It's unbelievably hot.

So unbelievable that I cannot believe I still do not see hot chicks on the streets with bikinis and nubile sweet young things playing in the fountains in KLCC.

So unbelievable that I cannot believe I'm still 150kg despite sweating enough to fill the cistern of my toilet 5 times everyday.

So unbelievable that I cannot believe the waxed plastic coating on my books have not melted and irretrievably merged with another.

So unbelievable that I cannot believe we are still eating curries and sambals instead of ice creams and snow cones and gellatos.

So unbelievable that I cannot believe people talk even more in the hot weather. *cue politicians and reps

So unbelievable that I cannot believe we are still not having any heatstroke epidemic here in Malaysia.

So unbelievable that I cannot believe we have not all perished and this is merely a hallucination...

So unbelievable that I cannot believe that I am still not hot enough to get Natalie to share my room despite the hot weather.

I need my BJs... Sigh. Ben & Jerry's la ok.

Wishful Thinking Haiku

2009-05-17T01:27:00.000+08:00

The trickles of rain
Gliding down the window pane
Tears of yesterday

I wish people were smarter

2009-05-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

Smart? Everyone is smart. Intellegent? Isn't there like many different types of intelligence? The smart I mean here is not the knowledge to construct a rocket, nor is it to explain the dark matter theory. It is the day to day smarts and know how to live and improve on one's life. How we make daily judgments. How we choose which house or car to buy. Whether to eat that tasty nasi lemak or make some exotic 'potato pancakes'.

Regardless of whether it is a comment or a speech made by an Opposition member or a member of Government, by the homeless man on the street or the exalted apex of any monarchy, the kacang putih man or the billionaire tycoons... one should never take anything at face value.

I remember gracing this point briefly in my previous post so I am reiterating myself here. But it is a very important point to note in our daily lives. Always question and find out for yourself before accepting or rejecting them if you choose to.

But there are variables to my dilemma. Everyone is inequitably smart, have access to education, economically stable to say the least. And this does not even include the personal traits or quirks either inherent from birth or through upbringing. Let us not even bring culture and heritage in.

Everyone is different and that it is a benefaction is a moot point. So in localizing my very brief pseudo commentary here...I am relying on the law of averages to save the day. I hope Malaysians would have reason and logic enough to sift through the chaff of information that we are so abundantly blessed with today. Not every Governmental issued news is propaganda nor is every non-Governmentally sourced information the gospel truth. Everything is coated for their own purposes. Moving away from politics to the drudgery of daily life, the vegetable seller may not tell you that his kangkung is not so fresh today so it is for you to look and analyse it for yourself. The heart-broken friend may not tell you that he is depressed but one can tell if one notices the body language and speech if he should care to look.

My point is, nothing is ever what it seems and we must use our own conscience and judgment in making decisions. Only then can we truly accept or reject.

On a sidenote, this is a hilarious piece of news. Our Prime Minister was actually quoted as saying “It is for the judgement of the sultan” and not the Menteri Besar to call for the dissolution of the assembly. Well, he may have reasons to say as such. He may have been genuinely mistaken. Or deliberately misleading. One can also use the 'convention is not law' argument. Who knows? But I do know one thing. That my opinion of the matter is mine and though others may share it each is entitled to his own.

I wish people were smarter.

May 13, '69

2009-05-13T10:24:00.001+08:00

I may not know much about May 13, but I definitely ~~enjoy~~ know about 69..i mean it's a lovely number..no no.. Anyway 1969 is an awesome year, not because I love 6s and 9s but it was also when the ominous May 13 event took place.

Much have been written on the subject and many different versions prevail. I've read up and though I do not consider myself knowledgeable enough to point fingers, but I think I have a fair share of what went on the many ramifications of that tumultuous date till today. I think I have a written piece on this somewhere but I will have to find it and edit it first. One thing that I do know is that it is always being used by the powers that be as a reminder for us to remain united and not backbite each other.

What is not apparent to most is the complex tapestry of events that triggered this incident. It plays out with such intrigue and drama that it would surely be an awesome plot worthy of an Oscar for best picture or a Nobel prize for literature. Scandals, character assassinations, diversions, royalties...heck, my mouth is watering from the wealth of plot to be gleaned. But again, I am no big authority and I've only read up from various sources and have my own take on the subject located in my special folder in My Documents.

Anyway, now would not be the time for finger pointing and play the blame game but instead we should move on from this issue. Funny how the Government constantly play up the date (and ironically, not so from the non-Government reps) by warning and threats of another May 13 hitting. This is a rather pathetic attempt in "forcing" unity when not many are even aware of the reasons for May 13 to even occur. If one would scour the mainstream media, May 13 will always be superficially referred to and even those in the know would not risk divulging too much regarding the incident lest they suffer consequences.

So, back to my point, I think it is futile now to even say so and so is responsible etc etc... What should be done is for the people to know what exactly May 13 was all about (minus the blame bang bang) and how we can learn from it. Then again, this is a futile wish as there are too many interested parties in power with their fingers in the pie with the stains of May 13 on their backs.

Perhaps the people can read up on the issue from the many books we have in our stores. Pick one up and enrich yourselves. Get an objective view of the incident. See all sides and then make your own conclusions. No one should tell us what that is. Our mind is ours alone. Never take anything at face value.

This is an interesting article. May it be the starting point of your journey in dissecting the enigmatic May 13, 1969 in Malaysia.

Hum hum hum

2009-05-12T21:21:00.001+08:00

Have you ever had one of those moments when you can’t get the song out of your head? Bet you have. Well…my current problem is a little different. There is this song that is in my head but I don’t know the title and full lyrics.

I know..I know. The Google-savvy would probably tell me that all you need is a few words from the song and chances are you’ll be able to find the exact song title/singer/full lyrics online. I’ve done this many many times. Google is scarily effective this way.

So the problem arises when the lyrics I want to find is in a language that is not typeable using our QWERTY keyboards…example, …Arabic lyrics…Yea yea..there are Arabic programmes similar to Chinese Wordstar but it’s tough you know when the language you’re searching for is not your usual language. And you’re searching for a song with a search list of a few general words.

The word that I know is woman and the rest are lost in memory. It’s actually a song that I remembered listening to when I was young and when I heard it again I was scratching my head thinking how I’m going to find a song when I only know 1 word from the lyrics and only the tune of the chorus. Now if I can search using the tune…that would be something. I don’t think I’m pitch-perfect enough to hum to anyone and get them to tell me.

Google may be an awesome search engine, but it’s not perfect. Haha.

First of May

2009-05-04T21:24:00.004+08:00

When I was small, and christmas trees were tall,
We used to love while others used to play.
Dont ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Some one else moved in from far away.

Now we are tall, and christmas trees are small,
And you dont ask the time of day.
But you and i, our love will never die,
But guess we'll cry come first of May...

So sang the Bee Gees. How much we've all grown. Older, fatter, hopefully wiser? There is much to be thankful for despite the overall gloom that shadows us. Crippling economic situations, ecological disasters, A virus scare....right up to the day-to-day worries of bringing food back to the table. Raising your family. Yes, we have much to be thankful for. For the life that is still in us. For the ideals that we still hold dear. For the vast knowledge that surrounds us. There is so much to see, to learn, to experience, and basically to live for. Is the taking of a life, no matter how "humanly" justifiable, ever right? In particular, when that choice is not made by you, but by others.

Today, Delara Darabi was executed. May her soul rest in peace.

2009-04-29T19:26:00.000+08:00

This is a short exchange by Jonathan Barnes and I in a Facebook group dedicated to silly poetry and non-sensical rhymes.

Jonathan Barnes :

If there were a fight,
Between everything you bake
The victor would be
A lovely Welsh Cake.

They are the best snack
That much is true
So if you bad mouth Welsh Cakes
They kill you!!!

Me :

I love them Welsh Cakes
I am a real big fan
But I have a confession to make
I'm afraid, I also love flan.

There is another
Confection that I dearly love
Sweet and tangy, light as feather
It's Jaffa Cakes, and they're way above.

Ships Ahoy!

2009-04-26T19:35:00.000+08:00

I read this passage recently and I felt it to be a good analogy for various circumstances in life. It is written by Frank Koch in Proceedings, a magazine of the Naval Institute.

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers n heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”

“Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.

Lookout replied, “Steady, captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.

The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.”

Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”

The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.”

“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”

By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”

Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”

We changed course.

Metaphors and analogies aside, it is a nicely written [very] short prose. It builds up into a climax and is a pleasurable read, despite its brevity. The moral of the story can be incorporated into so many different situations such as never judging a thing for its outward appearance, humility ROCKS arrogance NOT ALWAYS GOOD, always look at the bigger picture and not be hampered by your own limited visibility, I can go on…to each his own. Nonetheless, I thought I’d put it here to share.

On a lighter note, it always pays to invest in real-estate and not those fancy cars/boats.

In the Name of the Father

2009-04-22T19:50:00.000+08:00

To : The Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei, The Head of the Judiciary of Iran Ayatollah Mahmoud Hashemi Shahroudi, Minister of the Interior of Iran Hojatoleslam Mustafa Purmohammadi and Speaker of Parliament of Iran Gholamali

Do you believe in capital punishment? Ms. Delara is awaiting execution after having exhausted her appeals. She is convicted of murdering her relations when she was a minor. Her guilt notwithstanding, Iran is under international obligations to commute her sentence.

Iran being a signatory of International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) and of the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) is prohibited from the use of the death penalty against people convicted of crimes committed when they were under 18. Art. 37 clearly states so.

Please send your appeals to

- The Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei
http://www.leader.ir/langs/en/index.php?p=letter

- Head of the Judiciary Ayatollah Mahmoud Hashemi Shahroudi
Email: info@dadiran.ir

- Judiciary spokesperson Alireza Jamshidi
Email: info@a-jamshidi.ir

I have sent mine. I will reproduce it here if her sentence is commuted.

There was another case but I have since forgotten the name of the poor girl who was stoned to death. It just breaks my heart to see such blatant violence in the name of justice. Next on my case watch is Malak Ghorbany.

White Chicken Rice and Hor Fun

2009-04-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

The revered former Lord President and current Sultan of Perak, Sultan Azlan Shah finally broke his silence since the controversy surrounding the constitutional issues that plague Perak, the land of great food and pretty ladies on the occasion of His Highness’ birthday.

Ah…I do not have the text of His Highness’ speech and will try to get my hands on them. Whatever I have read is taken from the printed Star and Sun. (lol…no Moon?)

Anyway…the point that Rulers are above politics is certainly paramount and His Highness’ justification for remaining silent all this while. It is a laudable move but at the same time, an amazingly convenient excuse. That might be how some perceive it, but personally, I would rather believe that it is the right thing to do by not playing to the crowd. Nonetheless, by relying on the pretext that Rulers are above politics, it places an enormous burden for their Highnesses’ to be impartial.
Reading into the quotations printed in the Star (20 April ’09), they seem to allude to the allegations made by prominent opposition figures especially with regards to legal action that could be taken against the Sultan.

“These groups and individuals feel that they are faultless and immune from any action, to the extent of disregarding the law for the sake of attaining power.”

I am just an ordinary citizen. But from the man collecting recyclables in trashcans and sleeping on the sidewalks to the Rulers themselves, are subject to the Constitution. Hence, NO ONE is immune. There are exceptions of course. Diplomats in their official capacity are also immune. Rulers too. I have been following the entire chronicle and I find that the statement is, although general and not directly targeted at anyone in particular, carry connotations that are hard to ignore.

If I know that I am right and that the law is on my side, how can the other then warn me of the rule of law? Then again between a former Lord President and a counsel, the battle is indeed an interesting one. To be fair, I find both parties to be equally right and that they are on the right side of the law. No issue, then isn’t it? So the statement is then perhaps just a warning in advance to anyone who would want to insult the sovereignty of the Rulers.

What riles me up is then how the politicking then starts. Everyone, and I mean from both camps of the political landscape (though one side seems to use it even more) would play up this issue. I have not seen anyone in the papers who have insulted the Sultan. Then again, I’m not an insult expert. Why then threaten one another in the name of the Rulers? They are above politics so leave them out!

‘In facing the global economic crisis, too much politicking is not helpful to the people who are struggling to make ends meet.’

That is certainly true. Stop politicking! So we have a new Assembly and a “new” MB. Move on, I say. His Highness has already exercised his prerogative and elected Datuk Dr Zambry Kadir. (Though there are hearsay stories are not substantiated and therefore remain khabar angin and not to be believed – a certain member of the Royal Family is intimately connected to a few corporations that have recently been removed from governmental contracts in the opposition-run Penang. Hence, the decision to go ahead with Datuk Dr Zambry’s appointment. Again, this is not to be believed because there is no credible evidence that is open for scrutiny in public.)

Of course, I would like to discuss more about the constitutional issues but it’s so late at night now and I was actually supposed to read up on my Bankruptcy. Perhaps I will attempt to do a more coherent analysis (sounds professional isn’t it…but I assure you, I am really crap…) in the morning. If I feel like it that is. I was just reading the newspaper, ergo this post. I leave with this parting thought…Just how powerful is a Speaker in a State Assembly? I find that a very interesting issue.

On a different note, the assembly session under the tree in Perak. Hahaha…to creating a plaque, vandalizing it, selling the fragments, to now the planting of more young trees around it. I find it hilarious but meaningful symbolically. Apparently the Economist does so too. Symbolically meaningful, that is.

It's getting hot in here...so take off..you know what..

2009-04-20T19:50:00.001+08:00

The heatwave is back. Or at least I think it has. It has not rained proper the past week and the humidity is at an all time high this year. I am showering more than ever and before one can yell ‘Fire’ you can already feel the perspiration beginning to form. Of course, one can blame one’s higher metabolism but let us not detract from the fact that it is so ridiculously hot and humid lately.

It doesn’t help that the ventilation of my place is poor and that I sorely lack a ceiling fan, what more an air-conditioning unit. Of course, while these contraptions may be the best tools to beat the heatwave, I prefer alternative remedies. Like what, you may ask…

It’s not by consuming more ‘cooling’ food where they’ll lessen the yang (or is it the yin) of the body to restore balance.

It’s not by wearing more Clima-cool or Dry-fit gears or even the Pagoda singlets.

It’s not by starting a nudist colony (though it is one of the plans that I have for the future, but just not yet now).

It’s not by practicing meditation and other yogic/telepathic/arcane arts of mind control to either lower the body temperature or to “hoodwink” the body into thinking they’re not feeling the heat or humidity.

It’s DEFINITELY not by taking one’s own life. This is such a stupid option.

Well…what then?!!

Hmm..in light of the dropping exchange rates of certain destinations in the world where such a problem is not so prevalent. Think up. Think Europe. Think US of A. Think down. Think Billabong land and kookaburras. Now, those are the best remedies especially to beat this heatwave. We just need to migrate, like how them birds fly to escape the cold.

But therein lies another problem. Raising the capital. Is there no solution at all…?

I need more time!

2009-04-17T19:53:00.001+08:00

Then again..don't we all. :)

What is time? – The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries – these are but the arbitrary and outward signs – the measure of time, not time itself. Time is the life of the soul.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Goody! It's a Friday!

2009-04-10T02:44:00.002+08:00

As much as I love Good Fridays (being a holiday, most importantly), today will be even more memorable because I've feasted enough the past week and am now entering the dragon's lair, the minotaur's labyrinth, the serpent's pit...you get my drift.

I'm trading books and pleasure
For CLP's pain and torture
But I'd still rather learn
Than be in an office and earn.

In the words of Alan Watts, we neeed to 'go out of our mind in order to come to our senses'.

Maundy Thursday

2009-04-09T14:39:00.000+08:00

Hello Darkness my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again...

So my very brief honeymoon ends... :(

Food - The Whimsical

2009-04-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

I love to eat. But I have recently found that I am not able to eat as much as I used to. I don’t know if it’s age or that my stomach has seriously contracted due to the junk that I consume of late. I would like to think it’s the latter but I think it is more likely that I eat the same type of food most of the time.

Anyway, I digress. I want to open my own restaurant but I’ll be content to just be a minimal-participation partner. Any takers?

It will feature dishes that are spectacularly new-age and modern and none of that crap “it’s a recipe handed down from grandmothers, ancestors, family tradition, etc etc”. It’s not that I have anything against them, but I’ve had enough of reading about restaurant reviews where the proprietor/manager/chef wax lyrical about how the dishes were taken from these sources of yore and present ‘Ta-dah’ to you… I would like to try something new every now and then and not just eat all them makanan menggunakan resipi tradisional.

It’s everywhere now. Pick a bottle of sauce in the supermarket, or spreads, or some food item or rather and more often than not it will have something like ‘resipi tradisional, traditional recipe, family tradition, home-style, country food, village whatnot’ and all the similar hocus pocus. I’ve read countless food reviews and they would also have spouted lines like these one way or another (now you know how I spend my time…well, it’s one of the ways...).

So, there, I would like a totally modern concept of food. Let us try something different, eh? Like instead of marinating in a sauce derived from an ancient recipe straight from the cauldron of witches or another, let’s say have a broth cooked using laser, or something along that line. Electrified steak. Nuke-treated fish with edible carbon to nullify the isotopes. Chicken basted with combination of oils of all the legume family.

Now, I just need to find the partners to raise capital. Again, any takers? And a chef who is not made using resipi tradisional, please.

I'm sorry.

2009-04-04T13:39:00.000+08:00

Hahaha...I don't know if it'll work but if I have fooled you, I'll take you out for drinks. I'm not getting engaged and no I did not meet anyone late last year that I am romantically inclined.

So again...Happy Belated April Fools day! There won't be any gathering whatsoever next week unless you hear it from my mouth personally. Hot chicks are welcome to still give me ring and I'll make it happen. :D

Woops!

2009-04-01T13:30:00.000+08:00

I met her late last year. She's was and still is, such a rare beauty. I think I have fallen for her. Not many will realise this (because I'm awesome at keeping secrets) but I think she's The One. We'll see how things go.

As it stands, I've already met her family and her mine. I'm thinking I should just ditch my current classes and just move in with her and get a proper job. I don't know. We're planning many things but we'll see. Engagement is in the works, but I'm not one for all these hocus pocus.

So, for the few (if any) readers of this page are free on the 11th of April, I would like to have a small gathering at a yet to be disclosed venue (but it'll definitely be happening) to formally share our joys and come out in the open. Just bring yourselves. Dinner will be covered. There'll free flowing sparkling wine (she doesn't take alcohol) and I think she wants to "test" one of her cake recipes on us.

heck, I must be even crazy to post this. I guess time for secrets are over.

Bon Voyage

2009-03-31T13:23:00.001+08:00

Take care Su. We'll miss you. :)

I know I will. There's only PrincessR and myself left. We'll need to find our way.

Contemplation

2009-03-22T10:24:00.001+08:00

Will I ever know?

*image courtesy of Rasmus Lindersson..

Jiwang Moment

2009-03-18T09:51:00.000+08:00

Rindu... rindu serindu-rindunya
Namun engkau tak mengerti
Pilu... pilu sepilu-pilunya...
Namun engkau tak peduli
Malu.. semalu-malunya
Namun apa daya
Orang tak sudi
Mahu.. semahu-mahunya
Namun apa daya
Orang dah benci...

lagu dari Spoon..

Ah...bencilah tempat ni.

It's all in the mind??

2009-03-15T11:15:00.000+08:00

Got this in a mail, and I think it's somewhat true. Emphasis : somewhat.

"This story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside.
He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.
He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.
His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.
But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more and more raw material and buns to increase his sales. He recruited a few more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove. As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

Then something strange happened.The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"
The father replied, "No, but tell me about it."
The son said, "The international situation is terrible.
The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."
The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.

So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard,removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand.And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.The father said to his son, "Son, you were right"."We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Dear politicians...emphasis on consolidating the economy. And your own personal knowledge too, perhaps.

Dear rakyat, empower yourself with knowledge but know how and when to apply.

Dear teachers, don't be puppets for propaganda...stand up and make yourselves heard. You know our students are not activists and you're just cajoling them further into passiveness. Stop telling them to just concentrate on passing..there's more to life than acing exams. You know they can't fight for themselves (hello, we're in Malaysia) so you should take the first step and stand up. Heck, I would have stood by any of the teachers that inspired me. Then we will have youths who are more vocal and "worldly".

Dear parents, we love you. But there are so many ways of showing love. Do you trust us?

Money Money Money

2009-03-12T22:21:00.000+08:00

It’s definitely a rich man’s world. You can do almost anything with money. Some stand by the fact that they buy you everything…even love and all that intangible stuff.

I am not going to argue the merits of their case but I definitely would like to categorically state that money is very important indeed and how you make them is even more so. Would I ever be able to accept “dirty money”? I don’t know. It’ll be even harder if the sum is huge. Like millions huge.

Word around the streets says if you want to be rich you’d be better off being a politician, mob boss or banker. In my place, or at least where I was born (or wished I had not been born, rather) being an opposition will definitely make you rich. When you cross over to the ruling majority, that is. Or at least that is what the rumour mill is grinding out. What are principles in the face of like 20 million bucks? I think I’d dress up in a woman’s clothes and say that I’m a woman for that sum. And throw in a striptease even. But would I? It’s hard to say. In times of yore, I might have immediately say Yes but now, I’m not so sure.

They say faith and religion will help you overcome these sort of temptations. Am I pious? I would hardly think so, but then again I can be quite spiritual. I have found many reasons in life that have given me “ammunition” so to speak to face these temptations. Perhaps it’s the things that I’ve seen or the experiences that I’ve had…Sounds rather arrogant doesn’t it to say that money won’t faze me.. but I honestly place my family and close friends higher than money.

Naïve? Crazy? I guess it is your inner compass that motivates you to do what it is that you do. I used to be so driven by the thought of being super-rich. Of course we cannot survive on ‘sunshine, love and air’ (thanks Pearly) alone but I am not saying not having any money at all. Given a choice I’d of course like to be somewhat rich and at the same time having my loved ones with me. The emphasis here is that money will not override my family/close friends.

Be that as it may, I will still try to be as comfortably off as possible so that I may spend more time doing things that I like. There are so many things in this world to see, experience and try… till then I will have to do the things I enjoy and make things work for me. One step at a time.

Just Lose It!

2009-03-09T08:15:00.000+08:00

I’ve just finished another novel, Staggerford, and it was quite a good read. It is about a small town and how one person, no matter how small his role or significance, is entwined with the other populace.

It made me think (not something that I do much nowadays with all the force-fed CLP garbage). Taking our lives may always seem the quickest way out but the effects it have on the people that know/care about you is not something to be brushed aside. Sure, you may say that you have no one, and that no one will miss you when you’re dead or anything along that line… but there is still ripple effect, though it may be too small to be noticed. The grocer will lose a customer, similarly the baker, butcher….you name it. The postman will have one less person on his list. The dentist and doctor too. The world will be rid of one person. Some may cheekily say that there will be more oxygen now. Or there will be more space now.

I do sometimes read the obituaries and wonder what the person’s life had been like. I see the name of their families. I sometimes read the tributes/eulogies dedicated to them. I scrutinize the pictures. It may sound morbid, but I always feel a sense of loss whenever I read the obituaries. Like there is so much stories to be told from each person’s life…and now they’re gone.

In a deceased’s stead, someone will come in and take over. A newborn. Bla bla…the circle of life….

My point is, taking one’s life is something I don’t think I’ll ever do. I love my family and friends too much to put them through this.

By the way, no one committed suicide in the novel. It just made me think. I am a pitcher of random thoughts and aimless rambles. I could be mental. Aren’t we all a bit in a way?

Oh Nicol...How we love you.

2009-03-07T22:52:00.003+08:00

It was good while it lasted but still you held on strong throughout 2008. She is just so dominating her sport that she'll probably be at the pinnacle for some time to come. She's at the peak of her physical fitness and from the way she ran circles around her opponents, it is clear that she is deserving of her status as the world champion and world no. 1. I shall write a tribute to after i'm done with my 2 other projects.

Her opponents with the stroke-play that is capable of putting up a fight with her are nowhere near her age bracket (hence she'll just run circles around them) and those that are at within her age bracket are nowhere near as polished in their strokes. Talk about dominance.

Notwithstanding her first defeat in a very long time, she has been quite an inspiration to all. I would say that she has been constantly putting up a brave front and the pressure on her shoulders must be quite a burden to bear. Our badminton hero, Datuk Chong Wei has been advised to be more selective of his play but his coach laments the lack of quality sparring partners. Perhaps that is true, but the fact that badminton seems to get so much more funding and support seem to bring less than stellar results than squash. Being on top of the game is so crucial and perhaps Nicol can give Chong Wei some pointers. She has been consistently delivering and performing and I am sure she is not really getting that fantastic sparring either considering the fact that the other world's top 20 train at various locations and she is the only malaysian at the top. Let's not even get to the abysmal "national" sport that is football. With all the pseudo-critics of footie, they can't even run half the field to save their life.

So, take a leaf from Datuk Nicol's life and grow up people. Let sports be sports and perhaps for the less "sporty" of us, apply these principles in our life. And politicians, stay in your closet and swallow them cyanide pills.

rant over.

I love work!

2009-03-06T10:23:00.003+08:00

They keep you busy. They take your mind off things. They make you feel you're using your time well.

I've been busy. Trying to be positive. Heck, I am positive. But I still dwell sometimes on painful thoughts and sad memories. They make life so much more "colourful".

I'm glad for the downs in life when I have you to hold on to. But it's the ups that make life all so worthwhile. Trpezlivost' ruze prinasa...

Lent and Pancakes

2009-02-25T11:27:00.000+08:00

I miss Pancake Day... I'm surprised that it is not even recognised here... I mean..food, Malaysians..hello?

Anyway, it's good to have pancakes for breakfast and tea. Dribbling with maple syrup and honey and a dollop of Nutella. Served with a nice cup of Darjeeling tea. Or Chamomile tea after a long night out on the previous day.

What will I be giving up for Lent? Hmm...I can be all crafty and say work and studies but that will not do. So maybe I'll say procrastinating, alcohol (maybe?) and chocolates (?)... I'll have to do some quiet contemplation and I'll decide.

Happy Lent!

20 Feb 2009

2009-02-23T12:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Ah…a friend returned to the UK today. Going back to work and hopefully on to a better one. Sadly the prospects of anyone looking for jobs in the land of fish and chips are not very rosy. Instead, it is like the chips that have been left too long on the counter drenched in vinegar, rock salt and too much oil. With the financial nightmare experienced everywhere now, even more so in the UK, it is going to be one heck of a battle to shop in Marks & Spencer whilst trying balance Tesco, Asda and Morissons in the debit card statement. Perhaps even Ann Summers will wish she is spending the summer of 2009 on some beach in an unknown Pacific island faraway from BBC and Channel 4.

Yet, I wish I was on the same flight as well. I miss the lifestyle, the people, the infrastructure, the culture and values and most of all my friends. I miss everything…even the cracked pavements of Cardiff and the ever dismal English weather. Even the yobs and chavs that frequent the backlanes of the slum hoods. The lagers and spirits. The pub and club culture. The very empty roads. The sandpaper beaches. The temperate-weather flowers. The squirrels that peek at me during my runs. The stretches of green grass in their parks. I can go on.

This entry sounds so egoistical and chances are the impression would be that I am just another star-struck visitor to some foreign country. Poseur even. Unfortunately, beneath whatever façade that people may assume, perhaps not many understand the sadness and longing that hides inside.

It is the same as any country with its fair share of all the lower end of the civilisation spectrum. It is plagued with racism, welfare-abusers (not unlike the cronyism we have here), lousy road system, abysmal weather, and lackadaisical work ethics to name a few. Truly, I do not miss these…at least on the surface. What I miss is the learning culture that is so abundant. Not that we do not have it here( Mas duh!), but I find the culture here way more materialistic. The genial friendliness there (Harrods land) is very expressive. Not that the people here are not, it’s rather they won’t speak unless they’re spoken to in that sense. So a Hello or a Good Morning is the exception rather than the norm. Again, I can go on.

I guess it’s just the relationships that I’ve made there that make me miss them so much more. With eyes wide open, I embraced all the new experiences and I’ve been so enriched. There are the housmates, drinking friends, the home buddies from Msia, the sport teams, the intimate friends, the girlfriends, the work colleagues, the club mates, the Highfields, and even the mailman. Yep, I was that close to him. He would always greet me cheerfully and it is rather interesting that we’ve become so accustomed that we’d recognise each other if we meet outside.

This is such an incomplete entry. The words and emotions are gushing out faster than I can capture them here. I will have to dedicate my full story in another entry or perhaps a book. In the meantime, I guess I just miss you. Oh Zzz...

Hot Wax and Tubs of Cream

2009-02-18T09:23:00.003+08:00

I think I am no imagining it when I say that these past few days have been quite hot and humid. It is so hot that I am considering making a nudist colony where I live. Except that it:

a) isn’t near the beach

b) full of ugly people ( not that I’m pretty but you have not lived where I am right now)

c) no sporting housemates (cue : hot housemates)

d) some other reasons best divulged in person

So there.. I’m stuck here and I’m melting from the heat. It’s hot. If I imagine that I’m on some beach on a hammock under the shade of palm trees sipping my cocktail and watching my bevy of hot and gorgeous friends beaching…then I will say this is life. But I’m not.

I’m hoping to get my course done and just fly away. (wishful thinking but I’ll get there…) Now, I remember seeing an ad for this really cheap flight to Koh Samui by Air Asia somewhere…

Dedicated to You

2009-02-16T08:59:00.003+08:00

What Valentine Means to Me

It means a smile before the each hello.

It means sending a card every week for the month.

Just to confess how I love you so.

Until the day we become one.

It means having a rose for every romantic dinner.

It means sharing beliefs and understanding differences.

We may be culturally different, yes sir

But you are my Aphrodite’s quintessence.

It means showing that you care.

It means a kiss before each goodbye.

We will see if time takes us there.

Being together till we die.

The best thing to wear on my arm is yours

And on my finger our wedding ring

If we ever go through that door

May all the angels in heaven sing

Time will tell its story

And what a story it will be

Only then will we see

If we were ever meant to be.

Oh my Z.

Cold Water

2009-02-11T11:50:00.002+08:00

I’m in such a Damien Rice mood… He reminds me of you, Amanda! :D Get your dad to fly you over!! With a hang-glider if you have to! I hope you get your wish of doing back-up vocals for him. Your voice is hauntingly beautiful. :P

I miss the teological discussions and not forgetting the whimsical pop quizzes and trivia as well as the various word games... Movie nights too! :)

I definitely need cold water now.

The Orange Girl

2009-02-07T13:45:00.002+08:00

Read the book on Thursday...it's a very good story. Very simple storyline but nicely written... Nearly brought me to tears on some tender moments. Definitely a must read.

The story unfolds 11 years after the death of the father...his son receives a letter written by his dad hidden in the dad's battered couch. As the story weaves between the contents of the letter and the narrative of the son, you'll see how the present and the past blends in neatly. The story of how his dad met the mysterious Orange Girl and how his adventures will now be continued by the son.

My very brief and crappy review does not do the story justice. It's written by the same author who gave us Sophie's World. Has that got your attention yet? :D

Oh no!

2009-02-06T08:21:00.001+08:00

Gisele Bundchen, one of the elite few who have graced my wallpaper is engaged.. Well, I'm happy for her...but...

I need some alone time.

Where is my Boten Anna?

2009-01-31T02:12:00.000+08:00

Only you, Jazzy. No one loves Bass Hunter like you. When will we dance again? Haha..

Sleep my sweet...sleep.

2009-01-26T04:54:00.001+08:00

I like mandarin oranges. A lot. Well, the taste is alright but what I like more is when I peel them. Have I got your attention? Good… 

I love oranges and I have one each morning. Mandarin oranges are however my favourite fruit for distressing. Not so much that it contains any special properties that lower whatever stress hormone or any of that sort but rather the way the fruit is made.

You see, I love peeling them. I like peeling off the outer skin quickly. Then begins the almost ritualistic journey of slowly stripping the now peeled orange of the fibrous veins that envelope the fruit. Yea, the pale yellow lines of fiber that criss-cross the fruit. I like to slowly remove them…vein by vein…fiber by fiber.. I find this to be very relaxing. I will take my time as I move from each piece of the fruit..

Once I’m done, then I’ll slowly savour the fruit, also piece by piece. The highlight is definitely the peeling part. It is so relaxing for me. Perhaps it is also a good thing that during Chinese New Year, the flurry of activities and family social calendar gets so packed that one finds it almost stifling. Then I can slowly peel the mandarin oranges to soothe myself. It’s too bad that the fruit is seasonal. I also have replacement in the local mandarins and I find that the local fibers are a lot more stringy and there seems to be more of them than the usual Chinese New Year mandarins.

There, another anecdote to share. Happy Chinese New Year!  Or should I say, Happy Chinese “Niu” Year! :D

Decisions decisions decisions

2009-01-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

Life is full of decisions. Ever since you can rationalise, you begin to question. At the same time, you begin to think. And the decisions start coming…relentless in its pursuit for certainty.

Don’t we sometimes question the choices that we make? Have you not ever regretted making a choice that in hindsight you wished you would not have made? How do we even arrive at the decision? Perhaps that is the question we should be asking.

It is undeniable that our decisions define us. But for all those times that we are uncertain… where do we turn to, to help us make the decision?

Fret not…for now a college in Malaysia offers Bachelor of Decision Science (Hons). OMG! I know what you’re thinking…I was thinking the same thing too. And the first thing I did was to laugh. I am not belittling the course/college nor the students who actually enrolled/planning to. At first blush, it just struck me as so ridiculous to even have such a degree. But who am I to say… I am not an expert…Heck, I am not a “professional” decision maker so how can I decide if this course is utter nonsense.

Nevertheless, having read through the entire syllabus it just sounds like another one of those generic Business Admin/derivatives but with a slight twist. It sounds so general and in fact it is. Too general. You’ll be doing a lot of mathematics/statistics to help to arrive at your decision (thus using these mathematical statistics as proof that the decision was arrived at scientifically) Not that having a Business degree is bad… It’s fantastic actually… they make a lot of money. :D But if someone asks you and you say you’re a Decision Science graduate, chances are you’ll just get mocked.

I guess it is up to the students who are enrolled/planning to, to change the minds of the skeptics that this is not another run-of-the-mill degree.

For those who are interested, it is being offered at Kuala Lumpur Infrastructure University College (KLIUC). See, I’ve even advertised for them.

Ok. You can stop laughing now. :)

My Dolce Vita

2009-01-15T12:45:00.000+08:00

I miss my alcohol. I miss mixing my own cocktails. I miss my awesome stash. I need my nightcaps.

I’ve been sober for a long time now (not that I’m a hopeless drunk, no matter how scary I look). My liver is probably rejoicing in all its glory but at the rate I’m still chomping my junk food and other forms of comfort food, my liver will be overworked again soon, if not already. I’m eating whatever I can find in my room which is surprisingly abundantly stashed with food, healthy and otherwise. It does not help that I make occasional trips to get more groceries.

Which reminds me, I have to start exercising or else I’ll just end up sick. The feeling of being fit is awesome. Your body is so in-tuned with its surroundings and you feel so “predator-ish” (sorry..lack of a better word). I think I’m still somewhat fit, but I need to start training again. I don’t care for being buff or muscle or all that jazz, I just want to be fit. J I’m like what…140kg now? (hahahahaha….)

Hey, I’m digressing aren’t I? Yea, back to my alcohol. I miss the wines…champagnes…mixers… heck, I even miss the not-so-tasty Brains ale which goes to show the depth of my craving. Becherovka with its fantastic spicy aftertaste… Bailey’s with chocolate… I can go on and on and on… oh well. It’s too expensive to drink to one’s satisfaction in bars/pubs here. I like to think I’m pretty good with mixing as well though some of my finest combinations are acquired tastes..haha.

Perhaps I will resume hoarding liquors and its other intoxicating brethren after my exams. Which is still some time to go. But then time passes so fast… At least my body can recuperate while waiting.

Out with the old, in with the new

2009-01-08T15:38:00.001+08:00

The road is long.... but we'll make it together.

Prodigal son

2009-01-02T10:15:00.000+08:00

I'm back to vice city. I am going to miss home.

Mosquitoes.

2008-12-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

I hate mosquitoes. Period. Cockroaches too.

Die die die. The ecosystem needs to find a way to live without these 2 pesky insects.

Unleash all the chemical/biological warfare...bring it all on. If the side effect is mutating butterflies, then it is something I'm ready to live with.

Die mosquitoes and roaches.

Hobo Lady

2008-12-17T14:40:00.000+08:00

I have had the opportunity (or is it misfortune) of having met this lady twice now. No, she’s not Gisele nor is she Natalie. She’s not pretty or sexy or even remotely famous (at least not that I know of). I will call her Y.

Y is a typical person you would see walking around trying to sell trinkets from her bag or sometimes to preach (on various issues, not just religious) and sometimes to beg for money. She is what you would politically-incorrect to call a hobo. But she isn’t a hobo it the usual sense of the word. She seems to be clothed very adequately and she does not smell. She is very lucid and to a substantial extent a very eloquent person. She speaks fantastic English and sometimes she throws in very passable Malay sentences. She seems to me pretty intelligent.

However, she is afflicted with the thoughts that there are “wolves with fangs” around us. According to her, it is because of these “creatures” she has been unable to return to her usual accommodation (which I gathered is a hostel/dorm of some kind) nor has she been able to put up with her friends/people who sympathise with her. What about her family, you ask? Apparently some of them do not want anything to do with her and as for the rest, she does not want to trouble them. I suspect that they are exasperated with her. She said that they have tried to advice her but she said these family members were already poisoned in the mind by the “creatures”. She cannot possible return to them, because it will then be a trap.

From her stories, it seems that she has traveled far and wide..at least in the Selangor/KL area. For a “homeless” person, that is. She apparently goes to visit her contacts back from her working days and also to just meet people. (I think this is also where she hawks her stuff or begs though she hates the use of the word) Before she was in her current predicament, she said she used to work in the corporate sector. Her mother is a staunch Christian and her father is something I’ve forgotten. I do not know if she got fired or retrenched or if she just left. Whatever the reason, I think it may have had something to do with her mental breakdown or it could be vice versa.

Nonetheless…it bothers me that our welfare structure though is in existence, lacks clear structure and the entire welfare system of our country still needs much work. I do not condone hobo-ing nor do I support leeching off the welfare/support system, but I do believe that for the genuine cases, they deserve all the help available. I have seen how the welfare system can be abused and “fixed” in the UK and I am sure if we are ever to become a welfare state, our entire nation will collapse from such abuse. The mentality and attitude is still lagging but we are getting somewhere. I hope.

As for the Y, no, I did not seek her out nor did we specifically sat on a table over drinks when she shared all her stories with me. I was just minding my own business surfing my Net when she tried to “beg” money from me. And it was on 2 different occasions. She did not specifically “asked” for money…she beats around the bush, but you get the idea. So there I am facebooking, or googling or blogging and she would pour out her life grievances and views.

Don’t get me wrong. I no good Samaritan nor am I the model citizen. I am not preaching nor am I condemning. I’m just telling a story. I hope she finds a place to sleep tonight.

A Christmas Carol

2008-12-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

The Christmas spirit is stirring in the air. Well…at least in the major shopping complexes anyway. (I have collected pictures of most major malls in KL on their Christmas decorations but that is a post for another day..) The sense of festivity this year seems subdued somewhat, with all the financial turmoil and the landslide/flood tragedies that has so unceremoniously thrown water on many of our shopping and holiday plans. Fret not, and fear not. Do not let this dampen the spirit of holiday and Christmas. Spend a little more quiet and quality time at home…with the ones you love. Cut back on spending and be a Scrooge! But not too much..

Speaking of Scrooge, I am so thankful to have been able to catch ‘A Christmas Carol’ play at KLPac courtesy of my dear friend. J The new KLPac is located so scenic-ly in Sentul (ironic, huh..) amidst such greens reminiscent of parks that I miss so dearly.. The seating was fabulous and the cast was awesome! This was my first play in KL and I enjoyed it tremendously. It reminds us to be charitable and merry and all that jazz.

I got an itch really to rekindle my artsy interests (not that I am that artsy to begin with..). I remembered doing those crazy plans and scenes way back in college and also my final year in uni. I miss our impromptu acts and plays that have been so scandalously captured on camera. Sigh…heheh…I can’t wait to get back home to relive those memories. I think it’s rather the company for me instead of any other factors. In the right company, I am so ready to jump in front/back/side of any camera…I miss you B-2 15 Desa Palma, 57 Colum Road and 97A Woodville Road.

My November Rain

2008-12-08T12:36:00.000+08:00

The fleeting-ness of a moment, the fragility of time, the constancy of change.

I am taking each day as it comes and everything has been good. Everybody needs some time on their own…

In searching for the meaning of life we find ourselves. The meaning may not be attainable at first blush but we know it’s there. Cherish the day. Live for the moment. Tell your family and friends you love them.

Nothing lasts forever…in the cold November rain.

choke cough die

2008-11-30T18:18:00.003+08:00

The shroud of indifference is slowly enveloping my existence in this noisy and bustling place. The gloominess of one's existence is contrasted starkly with the incessant activity by a host of interesting characters that makes the identity of this "watering hole" an interesting study.

Vehicles honk indiscriminately, and each breath of air is choked full of all the litters of a "modern" society. Attitudes and mentality cannot be changed...at least not in the near future.

I need some fresh air or I'll just die in this fermented atmosphere of vice, smoke and pollution.

I have a bad sore throat.