Why Indian Films Don't Win Oscars
The title is in no way meant to demean or put down any Indian films. Personally, I've enjoyed a few myself. Top of the list is Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. My rational and logical mind screams in agony whenever I watch that movie but my heart and desires seem to thrive in that movie. I guess there are a lottttttt....of exaggerated scenes but overall, it was entertaining to me. A tad too long though. But I digress...
The title of my post today is the title of the email forwarded to me by a friend. I found the mail quite entertaining so I thought I might as well post it here. :) The descriptions are nearly verbatim (i've edited here and there for grammatical errors as well as for more dramatic feel)
The setting: An Indian action drama (I am assuming )
The cast: Hero and his brother
Location: In a room
3
2
1
Action!
Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna onto a chair...Those idiots didn't know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by such a simple mode of detention...
Here is our hero's brother...The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach...The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls…..
Balakrishna sees some bullet shells lying on the floor...This means that the baddies had a gun...But they decided to use a time-bomb to give the 'finishing touch'...This is what i call 'Innovative Thinking'...(famous last thoughts..)
The shells triggered Balakrishna's brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea...He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells...
Now, lets have a look at the time-bomb...The timer(presumably a pager covered in plastic) is ticking...See the weird buttons on the bomb??...The red button is the On-Off button!!...Now, this is the world's first time-bomb with such a convenient on-off button...This is what I call a 'User-friendly Time-bomb'...Very easy to handle...Very baby-friendly...
Coming back to our hero, he is struggling to reach the shells...Look at his expression...Seems like he is desperate to use the toilet!!...
Finally, he manages to reach the shells...He picks up a shell with his mouth as if it is Kappalandi...The viewers have no idea what the hell he is up to...Read on...
He concentrates with the shell between his teeth...Look at the sweat on his face...Gives an impression of how hard he is concentrating...With all his strength, he spits the bullet shell towards the bomb...
Lo and behold!!..The shell flies like a bullet through the air...Credit goes to Balakrishna here...He has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet...He can be a good asset to the Indian army...Heck, any army! Or special forces squad! The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the green button!!...The time-bomb gets switched off!!...Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!!...
You can't see but in this final picture above, our hero actually spits out the bullet and then the bullet bulls-eyes the stop button on the time bomb. There is a .gif animation but it doesn't show here.
This is something I have yet to see in Hollywood but perhaps it won't be long now. :)
The title of my post today is the title of the email forwarded to me by a friend. I found the mail quite entertaining so I thought I might as well post it here. :) The descriptions are nearly verbatim (i've edited here and there for grammatical errors as well as for more dramatic feel)
The setting: An Indian action drama (I am assuming )
The cast: Hero and his brother
Location: In a room
3
2
1
Action!
Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna onto a chair...Those idiots didn't know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by such a simple mode of detention...
Here is our hero's brother...The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach...The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls…..
Balakrishna sees some bullet shells lying on the floor...This means that the baddies had a gun...But they decided to use a time-bomb to give the 'finishing touch'...This is what i call 'Innovative Thinking'...(famous last thoughts..)
The shells triggered Balakrishna's brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea...He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells...
Now, lets have a look at the time-bomb...The timer(presumably a pager covered in plastic) is ticking...See the weird buttons on the bomb??...The red button is the On-Off button!!...Now, this is the world's first time-bomb with such a convenient on-off button...This is what I call a 'User-friendly Time-bomb'...Very easy to handle...Very baby-friendly...
Coming back to our hero, he is struggling to reach the shells...Look at his expression...Seems like he is desperate to use the toilet!!...
Finally, he manages to reach the shells...He picks up a shell with his mouth as if it is Kappalandi...The viewers have no idea what the hell he is up to...Read on...
He concentrates with the shell between his teeth...Look at the sweat on his face...Gives an impression of how hard he is concentrating...With all his strength, he spits the bullet shell towards the bomb...
Lo and behold!!..The shell flies like a bullet through the air...Credit goes to Balakrishna here...He has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet...He can be a good asset to the Indian army...Heck, any army! Or special forces squad! The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the green button!!...The time-bomb gets switched off!!...Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!!...
You can't see but in this final picture above, our hero actually spits out the bullet and then the bullet bulls-eyes the stop button on the time bomb. There is a .gif animation but it doesn't show here.
This is something I have yet to see in Hollywood but perhaps it won't be long now. :)
